I recently read a blog post about mums getting their groove back and it gave me some ideas on how to get mine back. Since having the children I have definitely let things slip, as we all know their needs come first (and rightly so) and ours, well they get done when and if we have time. My partner and I have a date night once a month but I don’t really think that, that is me getting my groove back. The things I loved before having the girls were selfish, I was young and carefree.
I think back to what I used to do before having the girls and all I can really come up with is drinking, partying and socialising. I went to college and studied my chosen profession and at seventeen - eighteen my weekends were spent with friends or working my part time job (to pay for the weekend’s antics) and not really doing a lot. I moved on to thinking about what I enjoyed when I only had one child and more time and responsibility; the list looked better. I used to love nothing more than a long soak in the bath using luxury salts and bombs; it isn’t quite the same when the children are in and out the bathroom ‘mum do you want some toys in there?’ or “mum can I just dip my feet in?” A quick shower in the morning is nowhere near as nice.
I love to read but just don’t really find the time, I usually grab a chapter or so in the evenings but I used to read for hours on end but living in a busy house and having things to do it just isn’t possible to read for a good length of time. I read on the Amazon kindle and it hasn’t got a back light so no reading in the dark for me (something I used to do) and constant ‘mum are you sharing your toys” or “is it my turn mum” puts me off reading in the day and when I’m home I prefer spending the day times doing activities that include the girls.
My wardrobe is pretty bland if I’m honest, it mainly consists of formal wear and then lots of jeans, basic tops and cardigans. Before having the children I loved shopping; shoes, bags, dresses and whatever really caught my eye. Since the children I love nothing more than shopping for them. I get myself clothes when I need them. Shopping for myself isn’t something I enjoy too much and money matters more when you have responsibilities then it ever did before. I will walk around the shops and if I like something I’ll weigh up what else is going out that week or what the children might need and then I end up talking myself out of purchasing it.
To get my groove back I decided to start with the luxury bath, I brought some bombs, salts, melts and some candles to set the scene, I set the kindle up with a new book, my partner and the children were baking in the kitchen so I had an hour. I ran the bath but while it was running I put the washing away, it would save a job later. Once in the bath I turned the kindle on and settled in, the bath was lovely the book was a good read but after twenty minutes I wanted to get out, I could hear the family downstairs playing and laughing and I was bored. I got out the bath threw some clothes on and went to enjoy the fun.
I also attempted clothes shopping this week; I wandered in and out of shops and brought a few items, nothing amazing or special just some winter bits and pieces. While shopping, I couldn’t resist buying the girls and hubby a few bits as well and I know they didn’t really need anything but I felt bad that I had something new and they didn’t.
My attempt at getting my groove back wasn’t all that great. I’ve come to realise that I didn’t loose my groove in the first place well at least I don’t think I did, my groove changed. The activities I used to love are still great but they do not make me feel like the old me and I don’t think I want to be the old me. I adore the girls and love being a mummy and yes at times it’s tiring, frustrating and could test the patience of a saint but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I could carry on about the wonders of being a parent but you all know them wonders yourselves. The old me was selfish and irresponsible and yes I had some great fun but I’ve changed, more importantly I’ve grew up.
Everyone needs ‘me’ time and I’m not different, I will make more of an effort to make time in the evenings for more reading and have long (well until I get bored) baths from time to time but I don’t need my groove back, I have a new groove now and I love it.
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